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Stuckinthemiddle
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Mar 17, 2010 (01:23 PM)
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118
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My Blog: Click to view
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Hobbies: Nature, Exercise, Food
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Hi princesspat,
I just noticed your posts, not quite sure if I've seen you around much before. Welcome to the site and looking forward to hearing more from you in the future......
SIM
Stuck in the middle
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princesspat
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Mar 16, 2010 (03:02 PM)
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There are for sure other feelings that get mixed up wtih the anxiety, I wouldnt' say anger for me but defintiely irritable...moody. And when I'm feeling like that I get snappy a lot faster than usual.
Also Davit, I too noticed that the site now logs people out after a certain time limit...but I personally don't mind it, sometimes I access this site from the public library or from work and just knowing that it'll log me out automatically kind of gives me the peace of mind to know that people won't read what I have posted, or know hwo I am...but those are just my two cents.
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Hippie Pixie
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Feb 25, 2010 (10:03 AM)
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412
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My Blog: Click to view
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I too have problem with anger and anxiety. Sometimes I feel like I am drowning and no one will throw me a life preserver. Like right now!!!
Red
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Davit (Online)
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Feb 25, 2010 (08:13 AM)
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1233
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Country: Canada
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This thing has just logged me out again because I type slow and during times of anxiety I have trouble concentrating. I also don't like to post with mistakes. I don't know who's Idea it is to limit the amount of time I have to post but It pisses me off and I don't like it when I am that way. I also don't like it when I am curbed. For this I dumped My brother and for this I will stop posting long posts since I can not type faster and will not post with the mistakes. Anger is something I have a hard enough time with. I don't need any other reasons to bring it on. I did have some thing I wanted to say but find I can not take the time to retype it. It is gone to cyber space and there it shall stay. If I don't get my act together this one will join it.
Davit.
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Feb 25, 2010 (12:32 AM)
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192
Joined:
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Gender: Female
Occupation: retired
Hobbies: sculpture,sketching,gardening,community volunteer work
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When I am anxious and irritable, I go sit quietly in my room and do the breathing exercises and calm myself down. No point in abusing innocent bystanders, especially animals. no excuse here.
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AmJ
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Feb 24, 2010 (05:59 PM)
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My Blog: Click to view
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I like this discussion posting because I didn't realize that other people have this same problem. It is a biggie for me that I have JUST recognized that I do. I always just thought that I was an angry person with a poor attitude. Panic attacks and the help of a therapist has made me realize that when I get anxious I get irritable and annoyed which leads me to lash out on the people I care about. I notice that when I am not anxious I am a calm fun loving person. The problem is that before realizing what it was I was amxious about 85% of the time. Being in CBT Therapy is REALLY helping me to understand the anxiety and anger and break the cycle. When I get anxious now I try to stop speaking or let the person I am with know that I am having symptoms and that way I feel better without lashing out. I am a work in progress but this seems to help. I am noticing that staying quiet for a few min and breathing helps instead of saying something I will regret later.
AMJ
AMJ
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Davit (Online)
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Feb 24, 2010 (05:16 PM)
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1233
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mjsmith
This is Ok but do you ever tell your dog that you are sorry. No joke here. Look in your dogs face and say you are sorry.
BREAK the anxiety cycle. Interrupt the flow any way you can with any distraction you can but telling your dog you are sorry and meaning it is probably the best. Second best is laughing out loud at yourself.
Davit
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mjsmith
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Feb 24, 2010 (03:14 PM)
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I to become angry when I am anxious, and I usually let it out by cursing a WHOLE lot when I'm driving, and I curse at my dog, and when I speak to people (in a calm voice of course) every other word is a curse word and then I go to sleep. Not the best way of handling things I guess.
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Ashley - Health Educator (Online)
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Nov 22, 2009 (05:17 PM)
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749
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Great advice Ariel.
Kittcat,
Talking about it beforehand is an excellent idea. It is normal to feel angry when you are upset about something. Remember anger is a hurting emotion, did you feel hurt by what occurred? How would you have liked your boyfriend to act differently? Specifically explaining why you felt the way you did may be a good idea for us to examine with you.
Another option is to change how you react to your boyfriend. You should voice your feelings when you feel hurt or upset and voicing your feelings without anger is the most constructive way to communicate. Take a look at the relationships and resolving disputes auxiliary sections. You may find these helpful when you discuss your feelings with your boyfriend.
Ashley, Health Educator
The PC Support Team
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Ariel273
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Nov 22, 2009 (03:28 PM)
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Hi Kittcat,
I have had that debate many times in my head about how much responsibility to place on my husband, parents, or friends in situations that cause me anxiety. I think the best thing you can do is talk to him about it. Letting him know ahead of time how you feel and then having some strategies to handle the situation on your own may be good. I think you can expect him to be aware and do his best at making you less anxious, but you will probably both feel better in the relationship and more confident about your ability to cope if you have some of your own strategies such as walking to the bathroom or outside if you start to feel more anxious. That's a tough situation because I know you didn't want him to be worried about you at his grandpa's funeral, but I must say that I'm proud that you went when you knew it might cause you anxiety! That shows him how much you care too! Just one more thought - I was married 7 months ago and we are definitely spending time figuring out how to handle situations together. A few months ago, the counselor asked my husband to come to my last session as he would be the one primarily handling situations with me after discharge from CBT. One of the major things that I took out of that session was that he would always try his best to be supportive in the way that I needed, but I can't expect him to always say or do the exact thing that I want him to. Even if he is trying his best to help me, he can't read my mind and doesn't fully understand what I'm going through, so I have to understand that we both may not react all the time in the best way possible. Just a thought that may help you in future situations like this one. Hope it helps!
Ariel
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kittcat
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Nov 22, 2009 (12:20 PM)
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Thanks for the tips on this everyone. I am going to try and find some strategies to reduce the anger, and also communicate more with my loved ones about it. I think maybe if I focus on self-care immediately in anxious situations, it may not get to the point where I am angry and lashing out at others.
Here is an example of the latest situation involving anger: I went with my boyfriend to his grandpa's funeral. I did not know most of the people there, and find that difficult to cope with. Therefore, as my boyfriend knew, I was very anxious. During and after the funeral, my boyfriend left me alone to visit with other family members. My anxiety went through the roof. So after the event was over, I told him that I felt angry at him for leaving me alone. But is that really fair to him? Should he have to "babysit" me during his grandpa's funeral, of all things? Do I even have the right to be angry?
I would really appreciate any comments anyone has on this.
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Davit (Online)
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Nov 19, 2009 (11:12 AM)
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1233
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Hi.
I have to agree with Sunny, word for word. You have to find a safe way to let off steam. I like the pillow punching bit.
Are you taking a SSRI. Anger can be a side effect. If so you'll just have to ride it out. Most people have anger during an attack ,they just aren't willing to admit it. Friends and familly need to know this is a symptom, IT'S NOT YOU. I hope this helps.
Davit.
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Nov 19, 2009 (09:01 AM)
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192
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Gender: Female
Occupation: retired
Hobbies: sculpture,sketching,gardening,community volunteer work
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Hi: Have you told them how you feel in those situations? and asked for a time out? You could get communications going and explain it's nothing against them personally and you don't want to hurt them, just need some space for a few minutes. I know some people who punch out their pillows for awhile when angry. I even know someone who has a punching bag hanging in their basement and that's what they use. How about a hot steamy shower or long soak in the tub? that relaxes the muscles...just some ideas...hope it helps.
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kittcat
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Nov 19, 2009 (01:05 AM)
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Yeah, I think you're right. It's that way for me a lot of times. Picking a fight. Also, I found when I am feeling worse, I can't stand others-even those I love to be close to me. For example, I really don't want a hug or to cuddle, etc. Instead, I want to be angry and stay away from everyone. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it does sadden me that I do that because I know it hurts others (e.g. my boyfriend). But it's like a "gut" reaction that is difficult to challenge. Hope this makes sese.
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Nov 18, 2009 (09:45 PM)
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192
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This reminds me of when someone picks a fight and subconsciously they do it to relieve their own stress levels. Now if that person they fight with, fights back and an argument begins, well, now they have a legitimate excuse for lashing out. Something like that...
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