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Wrestler
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Apr 11, 2010 (03:22 PM)
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I am sorry I am entering this topic so late. I too have trouble with confidence when my anxiety is highest and that's when the other feelings start seep into my thought pattern. I know OCD plays a large part in my trouble with confidence. It's hard having trouble just shaking a simple thought or song that you may or may not like. This can hamper your confidence abilities.
I use exercise as a great motivator - all types. I get the best feelings from using weights, but I have recently reintroduced my relaxation recordings to my workouts as well as yoga. I know a relaxed mind can lead to a more confident attitude.
I know the worst thing when you're having an anxious moment or longer can be when you think you cannot control it. But you can.
I had a bad morning of panic this past Tuesday and still fear it. I have done much since that day to make it just a memory. But my best advice would be to find your inner calmness.
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Davit (Online)
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Apr 11, 2010 (12:09 PM)
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Jaii
I do the same as sunny. It works. I do two things before I have to go to an event. I tell myself that I did it before and can do it again and if it is something new I say what can happen that I can't cope with. There is always an escape if it goes wrong but it never does, does it. Treat it as exposure then it at least has a reason to be there, and this includes those 2 or 3 days of worry before. Treat them as exposure also. Running what you are going to do through your head is as good as exposure. Run it through, look at it and then forget it till it happens. Hope this helps.
Davit
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sunny123
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Apr 11, 2010 (09:56 AM)
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Hello jaii: Glad to hear from you and some things are getting better for you. It sounds like anticipatory anxiety before the event. I still get that once in awhile. I will share with you what I do. Perhaps you can try it too. Before a big event, meeting, speech, I will do my relaxation, breathing and visualization exercises every day, no excuses. In visualization, I rehearse in my mind what I have to do, how I am going to do it and also imagine the success at the end. It's a kind of preparation before the event. (Athletes use these techniques before they compete). If it's a really "big" occasion, I will do the relaxation and breathing exercises at home just before leaving. If I feel anxious at the event, I can excuse myself to go to the ladies' room and take a break. I can wash my hands, cold water on the inside of the wrists helps to slow down the heart rate (some animals cool themselves in the river after a big fight, lots of adrenaline rushing there) have a glass of water. At the same time I can give myself positive reaffirmations - such as "I know I am o.k. and I will get through this", or "I'm here and I feel just fine, everything is going to be o.k.". Those positive statements are helpful in stopping the negative thoughts. Another thing I try and remember is that other people there may be just as nervous but you don't know it. hope this gives you some ideas to work with....good luck and keep posting.
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jaii
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Apr 11, 2010 (03:09 AM)
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hello friends,
thank you all for the support. i am really feeling little bit changed. not very confident person but definitely an improved man. i can say little calm. i am doing exposure works also. one thing where i am lacking again and again is the worring and feeling little feared and consciuos about future events. like if there is any geathering ,function or trip etc i feel feared about the situation 2 or 3 days earlier . although in my past i have handled such situations very easily. i know that but i cant convince my self about it. please help me about it how to proceed positively about any situation.
jaii
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Hippie Pixie
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Mar 30, 2010 (02:58 PM)
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Davit,
Thanks for a great post. Reading your post really helped me . You are right I am special in my own kind of way and I should never feel like I have to be perfect because I am not perfect and thats ok. I do not have to be like everyone else just so I can fit in. Their is really nothing wrong with being different. Their should never be anything wrong with being me and if someone can't accept me and love me for who I am than that is not the kind of person I need in my life anyway. I am a very special, kind and loving person. Thank you davit for reminding me of that today.
Red
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anerol
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Mar 30, 2010 (01:36 PM)
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Pat and Davit, those are great definitions.
There are days when I'm confident, and days that I don't. I'm confident about that!
Anerol "On a Roll"
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princesspat
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Mar 29, 2010 (02:05 PM)
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Wow Davit, said it so well, I don't think I could even compare to his explanation....but I really do believe that confidence is accepting yourself as you are, knowing that you are a special individual, who has various strenghts and weakness that all come together to make you, you. And you are worth it! Never let anyone or anything tell you otherwise...
Pat
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Davit (Online)
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Mar 28, 2010 (04:43 PM)
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Confidence.
Confidence is knowing that when you get logged out it is not your fault! (I got logged out again for being slow.)
Confidence is knowing you are you and being satisfied with it. Confidence is knowing you are doing the best you can and being satisfied with it. Confidence is being satisfied with how you look and not going to extremes to change it. Confidence is knowing you can't know every thing or do every thing. Confidence is being able to accept when you are wrong and change. Confidence is knowing when you need help and being willing to ask for it. Confidence is being able to accept your life as it is instead of worrying because it doesn't match some one else's ideal. Confidence is knowing that just because you don't fit in doesn't mean you have to change. It doesn't make you wrong. Confidence is being yourself when everyone around is trying to be the same. Confidence is being able to accept that you are not perfect. Confidence is being able to accept that you are going to get anxiety some times. Confidence is knowing that you will learn to handle it. Confidence is just as much about accepting as it is about being able to do.
Confidence won't happen till you accept that you are you, and to you, you are special. And you are special!
Hope this helped.
Davit.
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jaii
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Mar 28, 2010 (10:00 AM)
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hello friends,
thanks for the suggestion. i am regularly practising box breathing. after filling attack forms i came to conclusion that
i am over sensitive. might be just beacuse of that i am over worring and over conscious. and one major think i should say about myself i have lack of confidence.
so friends please help me to overcome.
regards
jaii
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Davit (Online)
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Mar 21, 2010 (08:36 PM)
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Hi jaii
What you are doing falls under fear of a fear. It is not the actual subject that is causing the fear but the fear that it will. If you let it it will keep adding things to the list. You will also find yourself fearing things that normally give you pleasure. This one takes a bit of work. Since you know there is no logical reason for you to fear any of this you have to take each one as they happen and tell yourself there is no reason for this fear. Writing them down helps but obviously you can't do this in company. Looking for the shortness of breath will make it happen. Some things are normal, we all have mild fears such as tight places, spiders, dogs etc. Mine is tight places. I was doing exactly what you are doing and I have overcome it so you can to. If you find you can't do it by thought alone then get some medicinal help but use only enough to be a help because eventually you do have to deal with it. If you have not developed relaxation techniques and coping skills you really need to.
Davit.
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Ashley - Health Educator (Online)
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Mar 21, 2010 (05:11 PM)
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Jaii,
This is a great question. I am sure many members can relate to feeling uneasy when discussing certain topics. Check out the section in the program on relaxation techniques. This may help you stay calm. Also, tracking your thoughts may help. What thoughts are triggering this anxiety and how can you reframe this thinking?
Members, please share your thoughts and advice.
Ashley, Health Educator
The PC Support Team
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jaii
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Mar 21, 2010 (01:04 PM)
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hello friends. first of all i should thank you all giving me more than wat i expected. thanks.
i need your suggestion regarding my problem. in any sensitive talks or little agressive talks or depressed talks , whether its with friends or family , i feel uneasyness and short of breath. even looking such scene in movies. could u help me out how to overcum this problem.
i guess my panic attack actually starts with the problem of short breathness.
jaii
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Mar 19, 2010 (04:48 PM)
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Jaii - You are very welcome - keep up the good work and keep posting, we care
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jaii
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Mar 19, 2010 (01:50 PM)
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thanks friends. i really feel relaxed getting your responses.thanks.
jaii
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Davit (Online)
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Mar 17, 2010 (11:19 PM)
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jaii
People often like to talk and enjoy a good listener. If you are nervous then open with something they will talk about and you can listen and answer with one or two word answers till you feel comfortable talking more. And you will. You will calm down and soon find yourself part of the conversation. Avoid talking to some one who is just looking for someone to agree with every thing they say. You will end up feeling trapped.
Davit.
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