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Davit (Online)
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Mar 12, 2010 (12:28 AM)
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Bambi
You know I would do this for you if I could but since I can't you're stuck with it. In your reading if you find something you don't understand then ask? If I know the answer I'll tell you and If I don't and no one else does I will try to find it for you. Don't make the mistake that a lot of us have of thinking we have a symptom just because it is in front of you. Write it down and look at it real hard before you accept that you have it.
Davit. We are here for you.
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jenn2512
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Mar 11, 2010 (12:53 PM)
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hi bambi! well its all been learning really, i have learnt loads about why am feeling this way and why my body is reacting this way! i have tried and thought of so many theroies to understand why i have these thoughts and i then i just realised its my body just reacting to stupid thoughts and that am making myself have these thoughts and that actually i was in control of my panic attacks and in a way they were abit of comfort! Since then i have basicly tryed my best not to think of negative thoughts and when one pops up i just try think of postive things and look at the big wide world around me! i have got back incontact with all my old friends and just realised i cant live like this with panic all time! Davit theroy which he posted on the forum anxiety addiction really really helped me! also i have been trying to do a bit of operant condtioning so when i have an attack i get everyone arund me who i used to run for comfort, to say no stop doing this to yourself u cant live this way and its hellping tons! i have tryed not allow myself too much free time either so i dont have time to sit around dwelling! so far i havent had a panic attack in 2 weeks i have periods of anxiety but i try block these out or try read or watch something funny! hope this helps xx
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Ashley - Health Educator (Online)
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Mar 11, 2010 (12:31 PM)
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There are quite a few links.
If you google The Quiet Borderline you should find lots! Let us know what you find out.
Ashley, Health Educator
The PC Support Team
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Bambi8
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Mar 11, 2010 (12:11 PM)
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Thank you for all your help, it means so much to me!! Can you give me a link or something about it so I can read.
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Ashley - Health Educator (Online)
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Mar 11, 2010 (12:02 PM)
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Bambi,
I know it is hard to look into this yourself. But know that we are all here to support you. From what you said and your concerns I think looking into the diagnoses is important. I have been doing a little research myself in order to help you and I came across something called the Quiet Borderline. I don't know much about your symptoms but I know with borderline personality disorder there is a lot of acting out behaviours. You did not mention any of this. I also think the Quiet Borderline often as problems with depersonalization. So this might be something you look into in your research. Again, I am not a doctor, this is not a diagnoses but if I can help you with your research I would love to.
Keep posting. We will figure this out together.
Ashley, Health Educator
The PC Support Team
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Bambi8
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Mar 11, 2010 (11:44 AM)
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I don't know. I'll definitely try. It is just so exhausting doing it all by myself. Struggling and fighting. But I now that it is something I have to do. no one else will.
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Ashley - Health Educator (Online)
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Mar 11, 2010 (11:38 AM)
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Bambi,
Do you think you would be able to get a second opinion on your diagnoses?
Ashley, Health Educator
The PC Support Team
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Bambi8
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Mar 11, 2010 (11:29 AM)
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Yes, Borderline personality disorder, not bipolar.
I think I have a mixture between panic and depersonalization disorder. I got all of the information from various forums and data from the Internet.
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Ashley - Health Educator (Online)
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Mar 11, 2010 (10:51 AM)
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Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to clarify because I am not sure this is clear.
Bambi you were diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
right? But I think others may be discussing Bipolar Disorder (BD)
which is also known as Manic Depression. These diagnoses are different
one is a mood disorder the other is a personality disorder. Both are
mental disorders that require treatment.
In terms of your diagnoses I would be unable to say if it is
correct or not. But if you are having doubts it would be a good idea
to get a second opinion.
Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
Ashley, Health Educator
The PC Support Team
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Davit (Online)
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Mar 11, 2010 (10:35 AM)
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Bambi.
I won't lie to you there are some side effects to Antipsychotics to watch for. But as far as making you worse, no they won't. Addiction, no if any thing you will have the same problem as all my friends on them do. They get feeling normal and forget to take them and get a little set back. But this is putting the cart before the horse. First you have to see if you really have this. One of the annoying things Psychiatrists do is put you on medication when there is no clear diagnosis to see if you get better and if you do then that is what you have. MAYBE. You say the meds didn't help. Well, that could be a good sign. If and when you do get tested don't feel bad if you don't get one hundred percent, none of us do. If you don't understand a question just say so. OH YES. I have been tested even though there is nothing wrong with me. It is sort of the standard thing the shrinks like to do. I have two Bipolar friends and one schizophrenic friend. They live normal lives and you can't tell they are different. They are more normal than my normal friends. But again, I think we are jumping the gun here. The first time I saw a shrink I really thought I was crazy, but all I was, was badly depressed and it was messing with my thinking. I took an antidepressant for around a year and was then good for thirty, till some major trauma brought it back again. What ever the diagnosis is you have friends here and we will never leave you. I have some anxiety and confusion this morning but it is only because I have to drive for two hours to another city for tests and it is snowing. I'm accepting that it is going to be a lousy day and I will make the best of it.
Good luck. We are with you.
Davit.
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Mar 11, 2010 (09:34 AM)
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Hi Bambi: I'm hoping you tell your doctor exactly what you have written in your post. Don't be afraid or too shy to ask as many questions as you need to better understand. Usually they like patients who participate in their wellness program. Remember, it is you who is doing the hiring. I used to write down my questions before an appt. because I know how easy it is to forget when you are feeling flustered or anxious. You can do it...Good luck.
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Bambi8
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Mar 11, 2010 (05:05 AM)
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Davit - that was the diagnosis my 1st psychiatrist gave me after 10 minutes she saw me for the 1st time. It just stayed like that because no one ever assessed me properly with any of the instruments, no one took the case history. I don't think it is the right diagnosis and I feel helpless and angry because I'm still wondering around and not dealing with the main problem because no one took the effort to do his job properly. I'm little afraid of the meds. What will they turn me into, will I become addicted, will I get worse etc. My psychiatrist just gave me meds, with the words 'If you want me to work with you, you'll take the meds.' After changing doctors, no one questioned the decision of the 1st doctor. No one tested me in any way to see if they work.
Jenn2512 - what are your guidelines to success? :)
Anerol - I think you're very brave! Courage is not an absence of fear but the ability to act while faced with fear. This one goes for all of us!
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anerol
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Mar 08, 2010 (08:30 PM)
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Hi Bambi,
nice to meet you. Thanks for your story, I felt for it a lot. I'm
25 years old and divorce my husband who hated me for having anxiety. It
will be 4 years for me now with anxiety disorder. I've taken SSRIs for
it but now I'm not... and I've let go of a lot of things to slow down
in my life, which has helped me refresh me of what I want now, but it
is true to start up again now that I've slowed down.
Anerol "On a Roll"
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Davit (Online)
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Mar 08, 2010 (07:21 PM)
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Every one.
This is such a classic anxiety storey that I am sure we can all relate to it or bits of it.
I want to comment on anti depressants and pain killers. Pain and pleasure receptors are very close together so what blocks pain also blocks pleasure. Also there are more than one class of anti depressant so if you find one doesn't work try another preferably from a different class some antidepressants are really mood stabilizers and work on a different chemical in the brain. I take a Tricyclic called Desipromine . It works on dopamine instead of seratonine. SSRIs make me aggressive and don't stop the panic yet tricyclics calm me right down without that foggy feeling but they give me a dry mouth and nausea which I am getting used to. There are others that work on other chemicals so if you feel one of them can help then you should try it. Beware though some doctors have a favourite drug that they have had good success with and don't like to prescribe something they are not familiar with. It helps if you can explain why you think it will help you. Some Doctors do not like the internet so if you can find a reference in a medical journal it helps. I know it is a lot of work but if it works it is worth it. Also the last time I took a tricyclic was thirty years ago and it straightened my world out and has lasted up till now so I don't want anyone to think that if you start one of these you will have to be on it forever. It just isn't the case.
Davit
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jenn2512
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Mar 08, 2010 (02:38 PM)
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Hey bambi,
your story is so close to mine, am 21 years old and my attacks properly started almost 3 years ago, and i also feel like the anxiety is ruining my life. Mine started when i was in art college i thought i had HIV and i was going to die, i was convinced that i would be dead soon! i moved back home in the summer and things started to settle down! i then start uni in the september and everything really started to flare back up again, i started seeing a new lad hu is my current boyfriend, after a few months at uni i hated it my anxiety got so bad i just wanted to throw myself off a bridge. I dropped out of uni and feel into a deep depression i stopped seeing my friends stop going out with them i felt like couldnt trust them, i didnt want to see them i was scared they could read my mind i thought i was going mad! i was put on citoplram 10mg a day and at first it did help, the attack slowed down but i still had them i thought my boyfriend was going to leave me all the time i thought he would see hat i was horrible and just go! i had anxietys about my past and how would effect my life, it was awfull. During the summer me and my boyfriend decided to go to turkey on holiday, and one night i just lost i had the worst attack of my life i ust wnated to leave i wanted to run away from everything i thought i was going mad when i got home i went to the docotors i wanted them to send me away to a hosital i couldnt take the feeling anymore i ust wanted to disappear! since then i have had attacks generally every other day but then at new year me and my boyfriend decided that i couldnt go on with this, the drugs ust didnt help they stop the attacks but they numbed all my emotions i enever felt happy or sad, i never wanted to have sex. i stopped the drugs and all my feeling started to come back and so did the attacks but i decided i would attack them head on! since then i have had two major attacks on about my friends bday party going to see old friends and the second about my firned wanting a house party. I have noticed tho that am starting to get hold of my life again , enjoying stuff, enjoying my relationship, lauhging and having adventures again! i thought i should share my story with u beacsue i think am getting through this and so can u! message back if u need a anxiety buddy xx
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